Would you like a dance?

Back in the day when I first started my salsa club, I used to go to great lengths to explain the etiquette of asking for a dance. For a long time I've felt that it didn't need explaining any more as everyone just seems to 'get it'. More recently, I've noticed that people don't just get it any more, so time to put the record straight.


Anyone can (and should) ask anyone else for a dance. 


It means - can I have a dance. 


It doesn't mean could I have  a dance and hope that I can spend the rest of the evening with you. 


One dance. A conversation (assuming the track is slow enough to manage it). Thank you for the dance.


I know that for ladies, this is the hardest part of the salsa scene to get to grips with. Ladies, if you aren't getting enough dances, go and ask. Personally, I have only ever said no if I had something I had to do (like DJ) meaning I couldn't head straight off for a dance. Normally, I'd sort the immediate requirement for the club and then go and dance. There really is no reason for ladies not to ask men for dances. Men can be shy too and sometimes just need a nudge. 


In my book, it is also ok to ask someone to dance when they are stood at the side of the room chatting. Its a dance club, chatting is good, but dancing takes priority. IMHO. 


It can be worrying to ask someone who you think is a much better dancer than yourself. You find yourself thinking 'I can't ask them, they're too good a dancer, they wouldn't want to dance with me'. Well, we were all beginners once. If we never danced with better dancers, we'd never have got better. I don't know any experienced dancer who minds taking dances with less experienced dancers. OK, I know they do exist, but if they are too far up themselves to dance, they're not actually the dancer they'd like to think they are. 


Ever noticed how experienced dancers are never shy about asking less experienced dancers?


The final part of the etiquette is to thank your partner at the end of the dance and then to go and find they next partner. It is very poor etiquette to tie one person up for the whole evening. A large part of the joy of dancing is that chance to spend a little quality time with a lot of different people. 


So, next time you are watching the dance floor thinking you'd like to be out there. Go and ask someone nearby for a dance. 


Jon
14th May 2012